Friday, June 28, 2002

 

I was laid off, and when my boss told me I couldn't rely on my current position as Data Analyst, I immediately freaked out. It was a meager living at 12 dollars an hour, so I hadn't been able to save enough for an emergency like getting laid off. Sure, I'd been looking for a new job. One that pays me what I'm worth and where I can afford some nice clothes or even a night out on the town. But, nothing had panned out. I re-worked my resume. I wracked my brain for days over money-making schemes like selling my body on Polk Street, or harmonica playing on the Embarcadero. I even considered getting to Hollywood and Vine and demanding the uppermanagement of Capitalist Records to hear my new cd, in an unadultered attempt to selling out, which up to this point had been the last thing I wanted to do. Now, on the other hand, selling out in a big way didnt seem so big a deal. IN fact, I already had my eyeliner picked out.

Fortunately for me, I was accepted by the Employment Development Department for an extension on my benefits. That's right, I am once again unemployed and living on welfare. Wherein, I will be pursuing the art of living modestly while sleeping in and writing in my journal and practicing my drums and chasing after girls, possibly hopping on a train and seeing my family (I hope I hope I hope). My bandmates are gonna be stoked because now I can spend my days promoting the new cd. Have you heard it?

While most of my rhetoric may lean towards the anarchic chaos of a punk ethos, I am now proudly hailing the American Welfare system as today's saviour. Thank you, my fellow americans, for working hard and giving me the leniency that an old and in the way musician needs to make ends meet. I promise to do my utmost to become an integral facet of the world. But First, I'm gonna go find a right bar to celebrate this accomplishment and get myself good and drunk. Again, God Bless America.

posted by Hog 7:37 PM