Monday, July 08, 2002

 

wow. In the words of the great Cheech and Chong, "if the world is comin' to an end, I don't even care. As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair.... And it dont bother me, that people think I'm funny. cuz I'm'a big'a Rock Star and I make a lotta money!" Of course, I don't make a lotta money, and I'm not a big'a rock star. (I'm only half-assed big after all.) But something specifically monumental happened today and I feel like shoutin' it out loud in true KISS fashion. Besides the fact that my own boss asked me to take the day off after the office was closed for the last four days already. And I can't take into the fact that I saw a cool movie on my day off. I spoke with my mother in the sunshine on Vicente and West Portal even. She and I rapped a bit while I watched pretty girls go by in windswept skirts that accented their thighs on a rare clear and hot day without seasonal fogs hanging low to turn this 'hood into fog central. All of these seemed especially important of their own merits, but today, a former editor of Rolling Stone magazine and was featured in Almost Famous yet whom will remain nameless as to protect his identity actually liked, no wait... he loved Fojimoto's record. wow.

Of course, he didnt write anything about it in any Rolling Stone, Nor did he pass it along to anyone at major record labels to get signed to a big's contract... but he did say he was going to put it into his car stereo. Which is always a good sign.

This brings me to a little known phenomenon that my great friend Greg pointed out to me. That drivers the world over can be subdivided into three groups of persons which in turn translates into every day existence. You know how they say you can always tell a personality by the way that someone drives? Same sort of concept. An angry driver may lash out at people when not in the car. A reluctant turn from a slow driver may signify a shyer person, and so on. Greg says that there are three types of drivers: Idiot, Assholes, and Buddies. Each personality can be defined through their interactions with other drivers.

Dig, if you will.
Scenario #1:
You are waiting patiently at a stop light for it to turn green. Just before your light goes green, a jaguar speeds up to cruise through its yellowturningred light. That driver is termed an Idiot. He is an idiot because he could have caused a great big accident and someone could have been hurt. Luckily, no one was and You looked to your left as you saw him coming and muttered to your wife next to you, "Oh, shit, lookit this idiot."
Scenario #2:
You are entering the I-80 from University in Berkeley. Near the race track, you understand. And the College, so there is a lot of traffic, and its always important to be especially safe on the highways near a college. Lots of drinking and driving, you see. Anyhow, as you attempt to nudge your way onto the freeway with careful scooching into the backed up weekender traffic, an SUV of epic proportions makes itself unpassable so much so that you have to back up a little to just not be crushed by its awesome awesomeness. That driver can be seen as a great example of an asshole. Even so, you can shout out the window when this happens, "you asshole."
Scenario #3:
Take above scenario, but the same SUV allows you easy passage onto the freeway, or maybe pays your toll at the bridge (which is said to happen often, although I've never had it happen to me, nor would I pay someone else's toll) instead of barricading you from entering a freeway or any number of places you needed to get to with your car. That driver is yer buddy. Often times, buddies can sense one another and signal with hand gestures, or light honk-honks on their horns in a kind of morse code for the highways and byways of life, "hey, it's me, I'm yer buddy!"
Idiots, Assholes, and Buddies. Learn it. Live it.
We all fit into these categories, so get used to it. We're ALL either Idiots or Assholes or Buddies. Some times we are all three.

posted by Hog 8:49 PM