The Official Hog Blog
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
From December of twenty ought one:
Neo,
I e-mailed my resume, since I don't have a job, to The
Prague Post. I was hoping they'd give me the job and I
could get outta this hole I dug myself into. this
corner I done painted myself into. Visions of the
bridge, the beautiful young maidens. Cheap pitchers of
beer flowing into my brainpan, and if only I could
bring myself to move and not look back. My poor family
accepting this departure like a child waiting for the
rain to stop in summertime. If only I could drown
myself in the literature and culture so's my accent
becomes that of the czech like no others. somewhere in
between the french rolling tongue and the russian
nasal tchkk-ukking sounds.
I figured I'd immerse myself in the sounds and blend
the old world polkas and waltzes my grandparents sang
at reunions with a bit of the new and a bit of the ole
american country music I've been listening to lately.
Create a hybrid, of sorts, and become the next Hank
Williams. That job at the Prague Post seemed a ticket
I coudn't pass up on. I had a chance, man. My
experience should be enough.
Alas, I received a letter today. They want someone
with day to day newspaper experience, which I aint
got. FUCK. who the fuck wants to work every day at a
newspaper? hell, I guess I did. But not an American
paper. They responded quickly. At least they took the
time to really look at the thing. That's encouraging.
Lately, with the positions I've been applying for, I
haven't heard one thing or the other.
No, that's not right. I received a e-mail from
Listen.com. Y'see I sent them a resume for the
Receptionists position. Me, a fuckin reception. Can ya
stand it? Can ya see me answering the phones at a big
dot com and re-routing them to the fucking CEO.
"Good morning. Listen Dot Com, how may I be of
service?"
"Oh, hey there punchy, say whydontcha shoot me over to
the CEO's Office?"
"One moment please."
Beeeeeeeep
"Yeah, Yeah. What now?" say CEO
"Yes sir, there's a mister Don Givvafauch to speak
with you about your daily enema, sir. Should I shoot
him up to ya?"
fuck that, right. fuck that.
In the meantime, my dreams have turned to the obvious
again, and I think I will be starving soon. Its
allright, tho. I just got my government cheque and I
still know how to swim.
I hope all is well, dear friend. I will be in Chicago
soon. Mind if stay at yer pad for one week, or so in
January?
Stay black.
Jonny
PS: I got me some great music to show youse when I see
ya's. Some ole timey Religious music that sounds like
it was recorded on 78's. real scratchy stuff. amazin'
fierce and harmonic.
Monday, December 30, 2002
I am far too intrigued by the entire cloning issue read in the news these days, but I am. I searched on the organization that is linked to the Clonaid folks... Rael. He used to race cars, but now he's a prophet who has been contacted by the aliens who we have to thank for even existing! And I found some cool photos of Crop Circles...... Aaaah yes. Aliens started this species, the human. There is proof in fields of wheat. There are also signs that these aliens are going to contact us and take us into the skies with them, taking us into the outer regions of space so that we should live in peace and harmony. here is a photo of one of their space ships.
Do you think that Radiohead was contacted too? Could we be sent into space like the guy from N'Sync? Or was he in the Backstreet Boys? Have you ever been abducted by aliens? If you have any information on when we might be sent into space e-mail me at jon@fojimoto.com
Ooooh, I can't wait!
Thursday, December 19, 2002
He arrived late and she was asleep, awakening for a split second for a quick goodnight/hello kiss. This aint so bad, he thought. She's mostly asleep and still knows that its me sliding into bed at 3am. Even better, she aint hollering at him for smelling of wild turkey and cheap PBR. She had gotten piss drunk just two days before and wasnt about to judge him for passing out from booze.
In the morning, the alarms went off, and the morning was dark. Good. Its easiest, with a hangover, in the dark, or in the fog. Like a big dog lapping at your face, the rain flitt-flitters against bay windows. She crawled out of bed and re-set the alarm for him, taking care to step lightly so as to not disturb his sleep. It didnt work, so he sat up straight and wondered where he was aloud. She laughed and kissed him on the forehead, told him to shush, go back to sleep, he wont need to wake up for another hour. She was going to clean up and go to work a little earlier today. He laid awake only long enough to watch her undress. She escaped into the bath and he...... slept.
The dreams he had were sexual and watery. The light from outside peeked into his eyelids and the pink of morning became the alarms of morning. He lifted his head from the covers to her face in his, kissing him goodbye from the side of the bed and wishing him luck at his first day of work. The rain made it hard to get out of bed when his alarm went off.
After much deliberation, he awoke and went to work. The nite before was a bit blurry, but from the taste in his mouth, it must have been expensive. His tongue was dry and his head hurt. Where in the fuck did he park his car? Somewhere near the panhandle. Somewhere in the rain that beats down. Somewhere that made his boots muddied walking back to her apartment. He'd have to get them shined somewhere downtown on his way.
Aaaah, he thought, it wasnt expensive last nite because the bar tab was on the house. Good. Its easiest to stay drunk when its free. He'll go back into that bar again later on, and have to pay. But today's headache was free of charge, thank you very much, bartender.
The morning coffee was pulled from the coffee shoppe he hated. The suits that frequent it made him feel unimportant in his slacks with stained cuffs. He held a particular disdain for people who seemingly had no jobs, but seemingly endless means for consumption. They wear nice clothes and read the New York Times, a newspaper whose name is a million miles from here. They talk loud far too early in the day, and style their hair with Aveda products.
Monday, December 16, 2002
What did you do on Thanksgiving?
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Its the end of the year and everyone wants to sum it all up. what was the best things. Year end \ shmear end I could give a fuck about whether or some songs made your panties wet, nope. Me I wanna know how ya felt when yer cherry was busted. I mean unless you lost yer virginity this year, yer favorite songs of twenty ought two dont mean dick to me, and I dont mean to pun you.... it is true. not dick, man.
& have you heard of Steve Albini? He is all right with me, holmes.
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
I would like a copy of Jewels of Thought , by Pharoah Sanders on vinyl.
I would like a set of pro-mark sticks.
and a meal at least once a day for free, possibly a lunch here and there.
