Monday, January 05, 2004

 

Mr. Will You Please Not Eat My Bunny?


there is no cause for alarm. stay calm. sure, sure you've heard this before, I'm serious this time. but please just sit down, yes right there in the beaned-bag. that one on the floor will do, no no... the reddish brown one that i bought for you this morning. it matches the carpeting and looks as if you've been sucked into oblivion. it makes you feel like yr on mars, but it also makes it seem as tho youve been broadcasting in 3-d. red and red and green. ok now please just open your mouth and close your eyes and your going to be in for a big surprise. i'm serious, it will be hilarious. a great big surprise, come on, just close yr eyes and open yr mouth, please. yr not looking are you? i see you peeking and i'm not giving you jack shit until i know yr eyes are totally closed. they closed. oky dokey. here you go!

(gulp)

[hm. it tastes great, but i cant seem to place what it is. 'say, hog, what is this?' i hope he can hear me cuz i dont know how long i'm supposed to chew on this. 'hog? hey hog?!?! this is mighty tastey, but i cant seem to place exactly what it is? i'm not gonna get some kinda SARS or Mad Cow diseases am i?']

{heh heh}

{its that goddamned rabbit I been fixin to cook since i first saw it}

[oh man, he cooked that rabbit. that same rabbit that shit all over lil suzy isley's trapper kreeper. 'damn this bunny is sweet.' i cant believe he finally broiled that lil varmint 'whats yr girl gonna say about her bunny being gone?']















{aw shit, you know I'll just get her a new pet. Maybe a ferret this time. something a little less lethargic. something that i can chase under the couch, and slip into my slacks}

['mmm, tasty']

{yeh, aint it?}.

posted by Hog 11:04 PM