The Official Hog Blog
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
on bathroom walls
when traveling, take the time to enjoy the pithy, inspirational graffiti found in roadhouses and reststops along your way. here are a few great writings I've found, thus far:
"BJ Wed Nite any color cock"
"Your Mom"
In the bathroom at O'Leavers, a bar in Omaha where the smokers hang out, where every person hacks a lung up while choking back drags, I found an array of song lyrics written all over the men's room. There were lyrics from "Whiskey Bent and Hell Bound," "In My Room" and the theme song from Fraggle Rock. Also, a drawing of a long haired man, with wide cocaine sunglasses on. an arrow pointed to him and the words "Do Not buy this guy drinks."
at nearly every air hand dryer I found along instructions to "wipe hands on pants"
and this one... an offer I guess:
"For BJ tap foot and show unzipped at sink"
Sunday, September 19, 2004
early in the morn.
got to bed around 3am.
hella tight was bangin' with all sorts of cool folks in the joint.
now I wait to load into the van, drive to wendover, sleeping most the way in the makeshift loft, and find a hotel in that gambling town that will take a sad sap like me.
I'd have a coffee except I'm hoping to get some good sleep.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
today, I awoke with a start knowing I was out of soy milk, and I so desparately need a soy latte upon my first few minutes after getting up and at 'em that I immediately put on a pair of jeans and some flip flops to get to the way too expensive corner store. They call it a corner store in this neighborhood because the guy who owns it has cornered the market. Its the only store for five blocks around, and I didnt want to walk any further than two.
Got my soy milk, and picked up the latest issue of Sfbay Guardian. On the cover was a couple in prom outfits, or at least dressed up and wearing corsages, so I assumed it was about prom. Not to mention, that the words displayed 'cross the front page said "Class of 2004." It was a story about how ten local bands are ready to hit the national stage.
"Hmm." I thought to myself, " I just so happen to know a little bit about the national touring stages and I wonder who the Guardian picked out. They seem to have their fingers on the pulse, right?"
No one I knew, or cared about, cuz I'm a cynical old jaded fart. But, more importantly, I surmised that none of the acts would get further than Modesto on the national touring stages while I took my morning poo.
Thanks guys! for making it easier to enjoy my morning poo wihtout too muuch to think about!
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
If you wanted to know why Ned couldn't Make it to this year's Ned Fest in Colorado...
Here is Ned's answer:
Well, here's the deal about that: they planned the
thing and assumed that I would be available but they
never actually confirmed the date with me and since
I'm so fucking poor, I picked up a job at McDonald's
just for a couple weekend hours as a manager. Then
Ollie, the guy orchestrating the fest called a week
ago to tell me when I was to be celebrated by these
Coloradians. I asked the owner if I could get the
weekend off and I told him the whole fucking story
about how they were throwing a great big party for me
and guess what he said--"Sorry, Foskey, but I really
need you this weekend. I just can't do it." But,
anyway, I had a little NedFest of my own after work. I
get free food and so I packed a bag full of Angus
burgers and french fries and after a stop at the
Bronco Mart for a tin of Vanilla chewing tobacco and a
12 pack of JW Dundee's Honey Brown beer, I headed home
to watch the lastest "Girls Gone Wild" about 4 and a
half times. Then I lost interest and started walking
around the house naked and ended up punching a whole
in the wall. I was a little late for work the next
morning, but the owner was pretty cool about it. I
guess he understood how I had made a pretty big
sacrifice giving up a festival devoted to me just to
put in 8 hours.
