The Official Hog Blog
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
As I was on my way to the bus stop at the corner of Irving and ninth, I saw him again. This time without his bunny, and he had a few of his friends with him. He was with the junky kid, Billy, who sits in front of the Fireside cafe on Tuesday nights selling his beatnik book collection for dope money. He was with a fat man who always carries an attache case. I call him the councillour. The Councillour's girlfriend was in tow, a woman with tattoos on her face. She has these tribal markings on her face that look as if she did them herself, and whenever she smiles its like the graffitti you see on the underground. She's none too pretty, either, with most of her teeth missing and a laugh that sounds like a car wreck. Everytime she goes at it, you got to look, and when you do... you wish you hadn't and then you just keep on staring cuz its so doggone fantastic.
The three of them and my bunny boy were stumbling out of a coffee shop, acting like fools. Coffee can do that to the insane. I bet they hadn't eaten. Add coffee to the mix, along with whatever else they pump into their systems, and they can howl all night.
Bunny boy saw me and cocked his head like a puppy after a weird sound.
"You've lost your cell phone havent you?" he asked me. "You've lost your cell phone and one of your best friends has gone missing, isn't that right? She was the last person you talked to on that phone, too."
He was right. I'd had my bag stolen a week ago and in it were some personal items I could live without, a book about screenwriting, a Japanese movie on dvd called "Tetsuo: The Iron Man" and my cell phone.
"What do you know about it?" I said
He giggles and says "aaw, you miss her? well, I may know where she went..."
Monday, April 18, 2005
I was seen, and he quickly turned around to look me in the eye.
"You've been following me haven't you?" he asked me with a not so secretive desire in his voice. He'd wanted me to follow him, and was as fascinated with me as I of him. "I've been watching you follow me now for years and I can hear your thoughts too. You think I am the chosen one, dont you? That is what I'm reading in your mind right now. You think that I am filled with all of the answers to all of the questions and even have some questions you've not thought of that I have the answers to before you even ask the questions to hear those answers. You see? I am the chosen one. ME!"
He clutched onto a stuffed rabbit while he raved on about his being the almighty, or the messiah or at least his own personal saviour. The rabbit was his blanket, his pillow and his toilet paper from the look of it, and when he talked he waved it about like it was his exclamation point. I stared at the rabbit, but I was merely fascinated by his insanity. The way I see it, most the world will go crazy someday. We all go crazy everyday, but someday we lose it. We just totally lose it so much so that none of the physical world makes any sense and the mind just makes its own reality out of the scraps that have fallen around it. I expect to do the same and hopefully not too soon, cuz I'm still under fourty.
He saw me staring at the rabbit.
"Mister? Do you want to eat my rabbit? Mister will you please not eat my bunny? Mister will PLEASE NOT EAT MY BUNNY?" he said quite emphatically. I couldn't have gotten close to his bunny let alone eat that thing as tightly as he held onto it.
He sang a song about keeping the bunny safe from harm. Safe from me.
"mister will you please not eat my bunny?
I'm certain that it's fleece is gold.
there are plenty of coldcuts in the fridge right there
even if some of the cheese I own has mold.
mister will you please not eat my bunny?
i've been hanging onto him since I was four.
there are plenty of vegetables in the garden,
and if we're out you take yourself to the corner store."
he was stark raving mad, but I loved him anyways, and followed him around until I could take no more of his insanity and went home to nap, where my dreams were much more real than even his ramblings.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
I'm losing my patience
I followed him around one night, and couldn't believe my luck when he began shouting at The Transamerica Pyramid. I think he must have thought it was an antennae to the aliens, cuz he talked of conspiracies, hovercrafts, and the brown noise.
"when will you return to me and take me away? i want to see the big city lights again!"
Friday, April 08, 2005
Random Puppy
thanks Puppy break!
Thursday, April 07, 2005
I think I'm going to have to change this blog or something.
I'm not that geeky about blogs.
That is, I don't get all HTML-ey about it and try to out-font
the other blogs.
Nope, I started this as a vanity thang.
I wanted somewhere I could write fiction, and showcase some of my tastes
in music, and to try out different writing styles.
Well, I settled on the official Hog Blog as my byline, because
Hog is my nickname (among many other nicknames, but this one is something I
can stay loyal to) and I feel like it's a good ghostwriter's name.
you know, written by The Hog, after a poem.
Yesterday I did a search on Google for The Hog Blog, and a couple different
bloggers are using this very same moniker. There is a hog blog, that is somehow connected to IT work. (shrugs)
There is a Log Hog Blog that is
some band's blog. I havent heard anything about 'em, I'm just using Ask Jeeves to suss things out, you know.
THere is a Hogg's Blog, but nothing is going on up in chyar, sir.
and there is David Hogg's Blog.
maybe I should call my blog something that is more suitable to what I write about like:
Drunk and Disorderly, a blog of train wrecks.
Monday, April 04, 2005
Today, at dinner, that first gulp of wine was glorious.
There are days when a man gets so beat down, so very
beat down, that he could need a means to wash that day away.
Wine, or whatever libation you should choose,
goes down easier, feels a little better, even looks
more alluring on days like this one I had today.
Oh, I know all ya'll gots worser days than the ole hog could ever had.
Today, tho, was the day I got me a root canal.
It took two separate doctor's offices to get this job done.
You see my toof' was f*ed up with a deep-ass cavity.
One dentist had to dig a hole in my right-bottom molar.
Another doctor had to take the nerve out of that toof' and
fill it with rubber, until its time to cap that muffugah with a
GOLD CROWN.
[I will finally get my bling, sucka]
I'll get this thing capped off with a gold crown, and
I can begin my new life. My new life with a less than painful eating experience.
Until that time, tho, I'll be chewing on the left side of the mouth,
and eating a lot of soup. Cuz, today I feel like someone socked me
in the face a couple of times.
It's days like today, that a man should be able to carry a
bottle of wine around the town with him, drinkin' in public and
causing a ruckus about it. When each gulp that warms the belly
helps him to numb the pain (in my case, the pain of a toof, goddammit)
or to help him to forget the money it cost to be in such pain...
That's when he should be able to do it with no remorse,
to say fuck-all to the world and get stinkin' pissed.
On a side note:
I'm not nearly in as much pain as the
LOSING KANSAS CITY ROYALS!
HA! TIGERS WON OPENING DAY 11 -2 against KC.
nah nah nah nah Boo Boo.
Friday, April 01, 2005
I'll be watching the May 4th episode of The O.C.
For on that day, the great modern day songwriter, Sam Beam will be performing.
He is Iron and Wine.
I am not worthy.
I hate The O.C.
Do these white kids with beutiful eyes and lithe bodies realize that
the indie world is not made up of Gucci couture? [sp?]
who am I kidding, tho?
Indie rock is dead.
if you want to see seom good music, go to your local watering hole and
listen to the old guys in the corner who aint never gonna get a recording contract.
the real shit is at the Rite SPot, or down at the Makeout Room.
I wonder who is playing out on May 4th?
